Epiphany

It all started when the Kasur Incident broke last year. It was devastating to see children in our rural areas and towns being exposed to sexual assault and the being made to suffer humiliation and pay for this atrocity by being blackmailed by the perpetrators. I had long wanted to do social work, first getting a taste for it when i helped people during my time on field postings as a civil servant in the administration. I saw with my own eyes how weak our links are with the vulnerable groups in our society, how limited is the governments ability to reach out to them. I had toyed with working for poverty reduction, women empowerment, as these are subjects close to my heart. With this incident, I decided that children should be the ones i should work with. Call it fate, call it epiphany, but it dawned upon me that day that this is what I am meant to do.

My sensitivity to children began early, I was always too attached to them. I endured an unhappy marriage for twelve years, only for the sake of my children and their need to have a wholesome life, not one in splinters. When the end came, my heart broke, not for myself, but for my children. I wrote down on a piece of paper that i would never claim for their custody and gave it to their father, this is how much i wanted them not to go through any pain, not to have them have to choose between mother and father. I tried in the last four years since my divorce, to make the fall as easy for my kids as possible, to make them as happy as possible. In the last four years, me and their father have been able to provide them with all the love and affection, and the best life that we can, as divorced parents. I think this is what I am proudest of. That i never forgot my children, and never abandoned them. They are the reason that I go on, despite all sorts of difficulties.

After my divorce, I began looking at children more closely, thinking more of what they need to be happy, and to grow up as well rounded individuals. In our society, it is appalling how little we think of the physical security and mental well being of our children. We produce them mindlessly, we use and abuse them at will, but we don't do our duty towards them. And the most vulnerable are the homeless and orphan children.

With my decision, Panaah finally arrived. This is a small charity organization that I have started, which provides clothing, books, food, and education to children. We support their school fees, and try to fill in the gaps that exist in their daily requirements. Panaah means shelter, refuge, safety from harm. This is what i want to give, not only to my own children, but as many others as possible. I m doing it on a small scale which my donors , mostly private persons, and I can sustain with my other commitments. I work with existing orphanages and edhi centres. When I think of how much difference I can make with this, I tell myself that if i can make the life of even one child better than it was, and make them smile as I like to see my children smile, my efforts are worth it.