Tasweer

Blue-grey clouds cover the sky, and the green Margalla Mountains seem to touch them, hiding a muted sunset. The pine and cypress trees sway gently in the early evening breeze as the returning birds call out to their companions to hurry home. As I look at the window, I have an image of my own beloved in my minds eye, which seems to permeate through all the sights, all the sounds, encompassing my heart. I turn to look at his image, on a day when I have to make do without him.

I like to look at him. In person, or his picture, or Tasweer as we call it in urdu. It warms my heart . When he is not with me, I look at it to assuage my constant longing to have him before my eyes, to hold him, to hear him speak, laugh, and scold me intermittently. He likes to test how much I want him,whether I can match the great passion he feels but likes to hide behind his sweet smile. His Tasweer keeps his sweet smile with me at all times. And his shining , ever hopeful eyes, which reflect the goodness of his heart. I look into them and they speak to me, at times with love , at times admonishing, but always reminding me why I fell in love with my darling. Why I chose to be with him with so much idealism in my heart. Despite what he may think of as his shortcomings, I have never felt disappointed with him. I do complain, but only to remind him that I am there, waiting for him to smile at me and do the simple little things he does to make me happy, and sometimes to make me jealous, only like he can.

Why do we need a tasweer when we have the image of those we love engraved on our hearts? why do we adorn our walls and desks at office with their images? why do I need to see his face so much?  Perhaps to sustain ourselves with their images, to remind us of what they mean to us and how significant they are in our lives, what part of our life, emotions and selves do they represent. When I look into his eyes, I see all that is good and idealistic in me, my hopes, dreams and desires. I don't think he has ever tried to rationalize why we love each other, and why we need to be together. He just feels. I have a tendency to find and list reasons. But his smiling eyes makes me forget to think, but only feel.