Women's Lib

Gloria Steinem I am not. Bra burner I am not either. Then how do I justify being a feminist. Most of the women felt, in the nascent days of Women's lib that going to the extreme and casting off every shackle of suppression which is designed to make us more subservient and therefore more acceptable to men, was the need of the hour. Perhaps it was so, and looking back 50 or 60 years ago, it is evident that women of the world have come a long way. Now atleast in the urban areas of Pakistan even, it is not an anomaly for a woman to work, go out alone or drive, do chores alone or be the primary breadwinner of the family. The only shackles that remain are the attitudes, and the harrassment which is experienced by women at the hands of men in authority or in any dominant position. For that the governement has to work hard and create an enabling environment for women to feel comfortable and secure in their day to day life. It is not a very difficult thing to do. I must appreciate the work that the Punjab governement has done in terms of legislation, women's package, the recent activation of women's ombudsman, a longstanding dream, and now the working women's endowment fund.The othe provinces and the centre are far behind. These are good measures and practical ones too, if only actually translated into the reality of day to day life. Another thing which the government needs to build and strengthen are the women's shelters and homes. however, it is imperative that we add to their design trauma centres where a battered girl can take refuge, get treatment and get psychological counselling. one problem with the existing homes is that today if a woman needs to escape from an abusive husband, she will not be allowed entry into the home. We must allow easier access to homes for battered women. The government should rise above the fears that the lawahiqeen will come and claim the girl/woman. it is time we treat women as individuals entitled to their own will, rather than as possessions of the family. One thing that i like is that now that so many things about women's empowerment have become the norm, it is no longer considered necessary for a woman to discard her feminine traits to achieve emancipation. I do not think it is necessary for a woman to be rude or gruff to be strong and assert her independence. one needs to be clear in one's mind about ones values and firm about them. obviously, resorting to a little bit of aggression where it is required, but i would prefer the cool confidence of an educated lady, rather then the harsh fury of reactionary activists. We need not compete with men. we are evidently better:) but we are different and both sexes do well to accept their differences and learn to interact accordingly. The men also need to learn that assertivenes is not necessarily a challenge to their manliness. Women need to be polite but firm about what they do or do not want, even if they are in a position of authority. it works even without resorting to looking or behaving like a man. If one is better than others in work, one earns respect the right way. and the best answer for harassment is: name and shame. the rest falls in place. women just need to keep their self confidence and sense of self worth alive. If I am confident of who i am, I dont need to insult anybody to prove myself. but i do not need to take something below my dignity either. I hope that graceful but firm, the women keep coming into public life and change our society, by changing themselves first.We wont get anywhere by competing for men.