burey halaat

Somebody posted on my blog, that i should not write about my personal life. Curious idea. I wonder why anybody would object to know that i am happy? I write about sadness and nobody says dont write about that. So why this nervousness about happiness? I like to share some aspects of my life but not all, but media has not been so kind to me. which aspect of my personal life was not discussed on the same medium? At that time nobody objected, they just enjoyed. so i say, physician, heal thyself. It is better that i say what i want to say myself, rather than letting people indulge in conjecture and rumour mongering. I have always felt that each day is a new start, I do not believe in looking back in anger. Otherwise, how much more of my "personal life" i could have written about! those who would do anything to keep their hold on power and privilege, demean themselves, go to any length to hang on to their ticket to "success' and be called " success stories" when all they can boast of is one shameful act after another in an attempt to hang on. But what is the point of mentioning people like that. I would rather talk about somebody I truly respect and love. Someone who has healed my wounds and made me believe in goodness. Somebody I look up to, despite the fact that i would sometimes tease. Who makes things happen that others only talk about. Who is not led by fears and complexes. Such a person is worthy of mention, worthy of association, worthy of affection. every woman needs someone to adore. Yet this is not all on my mind today. My daughter asked me today, why does Pakistan have these burey Halaat ( adverse circumstances/ conditions)? I am at a loss what to say to her. I don’t know how many of my generation have an answer to this question and how many, like me, have to struggle with a response. . We are not the generation who oversaw these developments in our national life, but we were witnesses to it, and now are coming to a stage where we can make a difference in society. We are the parents, the middle managers, the young bureaucrats getting to senior positions, the young politicians chairing some standing committee or as in KP, heading a provincial department. The old guard is still strong in Punjab and Sindh and of course the centre. But her question is still difficult to answer. I can only think of two reasons which our earlier generations have brought the matters to the present scenario. We as a society have been insecure, selfish and irresponsible. We have thought about our own gains and not cared about what happened to the person next door, as long as we were in the pink. Then a peculiar tendency that at least I have noticed is that people will spend no energy on their own betterment but will spend double the amount of energy on pulling others down. We are afraid to compete fairly, so we try to “cut corners” and deviously win. The ego reigns supreme. Not values. I sometimes joke to people who come to me to help them pull down others that you want to make sure that everybody remains in the mud and anybody who tries to get out of it, should not succeed. As long as all are in the mud, we achieve our societal targets. This is how our society maintains the status quo, and we as a nation lose out on progress and success. Irresponsibility, on the other hand, I cannot explain. We have this general tendency of being so relaxed about things, so laid back, probably stemming from our sufi roots but more probably due to the majority being unlettered and the general attitude of ignorance which prevails in our society. An unlettered man doesn’t know much about his universe, and life is a series of incidents to him which he cannot explain rationally, and thus explains through resignation to the will of God. While I am not discounting the will of God, much of our mess is of our own making, which god might be amused at but would not like to help us out of it as all our effort is to stay in the mud. Lets see when we have enough confidence to get out of it and chart a different course.