Come October

This weekend I watched, for the third time, one of my favourite movies" Come September". for the information of the younger crowd, its a fifties movie starring Rock Hudson and Gina Lolobrigida. The movie is about an American jet setting billionnaire who only finds time to meet his girlfriend ,who lives in Italy, once a year, when he comes down to his villa in Liguria every September. His girlfriend is naturally unhappy at this arrangement and since she has many suitors, decides each year to leave him but then goes on waiting for him, but one year, she actually decides to marry another man in July. Out of the blue, the American reschedules his visit to July and calls her, but she refuses to take him back. By the end of the movie, she decides that " it is better to be unhappy with a man you love, rather than be happy with a man you dont love". She returns to him and they marry. This dialogue has intrigued me ever since I saw the movie for the first time as a teenager. Is one happier with a man that it is difficult to be with but whom one loves, or with one whom it is easier to be with, but one does not love? First of all, the universal truth is that it is impossible to feel happy with a man you dont love, whatever you do or he does. If you dont love a man, even if he gifts you diamonds you toss them aside, and instead run/drive/fly to be with somebody who will be busy on your birthday, forgets what you asked him to bring, and forgets to tell you how beautiful you look. But you see in his eyes how he feels about you, and your heart knows. And the woman will disregard all material possessions for the sake of one smile of his. No wonder men find women difficult to understand. Indeed, women are strange creatures. They will make any sacrifice for the man who makes them feel loved sincerely, but will not turn a hair for one who doesnt. They take pain, loneliness, humiliation, for the sake of a warm embrace. But why is it ok to do that for the right person? We do not know. Only the heart knows. Love itself is a painful emotion. The more you love somebody, the more you are prone to experience pain. The propensity to feel hurt , insecure, jealous, possessive, longing for him/her, and wanting to own, all increase in a person who is in love, man or woman. The words of a beloved, however innocently spoken, can be misunderstood and blown up to cause hurt and squabbles. It all stems from our desire to be the best and number one in the eyes of the one we love. This is true for males as well as females. But If you feel your partner is not as committed to the relationship as you are, your own interest flags. It feels natural to be important in your partners life and unnatural to be unimportant. So happiness in love, is a relative term. There are highs and lows, happiness and hurt. Love is not a stable emotion. So there are times when a couple will be happy together, and times when they will be unhappy together. But as long as they are together, joy will return, time after time, if they remain true to one another. But what makes one run from one person to another? What is the most attractive quality? Beauty, figure, age, money, power? and why does one stay? It is the trust that the other person will understand and support us, for whom its important what she wants, not only what he wants, the ability to be there for somebody,and who will like and wish us well, not resent one's success and good fortune. Who can rise above the self, love selflessly, and be happy only in the happiness of ones beloved. If a man or a woman is sure that they are loved selflessly, it doesnt matter if they dont do the rituals or go through public displays of affection . They will go on loving each other not only till September,but many Octobers.