Unexpected Kindness

Today I was at the market with my 6 year old son, with the usual beggars whose numbers always increase in Ramadan. Never uncharitable, today I was occupied in getting out of there before Iftar and shooed away the beggars. My son admonished me and told me, you must give something to them. And i ended up giving more and bigger currency notes when the change ended. I happily heard his lecture that the poor need money more than we do and they dont even have money to buy food, so its our responsibility to help them.I felt proud of his charitable nature. But then i asked him, why dont they work? they dont have jobs maama, pat came the reply. But cant they do anything? Beggary is forbidden in islam. This was a revelation for him, as well as for me, as it is for most of us who are so used to seeing the beggars on the roads that we stop thinking of them as human beings, who might be equal to us. Poverty is such a scourge, we start thinking of somebody poor as a lesser being, and subconsciously divest them of human rights, though we are all equal as citizens of our country. We give them charity, without thinking, mostly with a sense of relief about ourselves that perhaps we have done a good deed during our da, not thinking of them. But how do we help them without making them compromise on their self respect? Self respect is a delicate thing in nations. It can be easily eroded through abuse and subjugation over the ages, as it has been in our country. But it is the difference between a self sustaining nation and a parasitical one. We are very proud of the fact that we are one of the most charitable nations in the world. But the next time I and many like me distribute food at Data Darbar, the shrine of the revered Muslim saint Ali Hajvairy, called Data, the Giver, we must stop and think how we can wean our people from expecting to live on charity, towards more self sufficiency. We need a well integrated social welfare system, a system which is equally accessible for all. I dream of a day when i go there and find nobody who is needy enough to want food. But then,which human being can be totally self sufficent? It is a goal we keep striving for, but realize our weakness each time. Rich and poor, we are at the mercy of life, fate, other people. The world is competitive, cruel, opportunistic.The powerful and rich think they dont need anybody, but we are just kidding ourselves. Infact all human beings are living dependent upon the kindeness of other human beings. We cannot survive without others. And the best kindness is that which is unexpected, which comes to us like a boon straight from God. The smile, the helping hand, the favour given, the problem solved, the response received, the action taken. Kindness can take so many forms. I am not poor. I dont consider myself alone or old . Yet two weeks ago I suddenly fell ill on the first of ramadan, while I had sent my guards and servant for iftar, again out of kindness by the way. I collapsed suddenly and fainted due to severe anemia which i was not aware of, and did not have the strength to get up when I woke up from delirium. There, lying on the wooden floor, trying to get a chocolate out of a drawer nearby to revive myself, I felt alone and helpeless, not sure how i would be in the next moment. Lying there, i called and messaged all the people I thought could respond, and were near enough. Only one called back to tell me that he was out of the city. Then suddenly an acquaintence responded to the message I had sent in the morning. i told him and he immediately arranged for a doctor, who came and helped me. It was help from out of the blue, a reminder that we are never alone in the presence of God. When one is restored, one's confidence revives and one can look back with amusement. But those minutes of absolute helplessness reminded me how precious kindness can be to anybody. We do not realize it, but our kindness to another human being can sometimes make or break them, and can be a difference of life or death for them. And the kindness which is not seeking any reward, not a return, not an acknowledgement, can be touching. As my acquaintence said when I later thanked him after recuperating," always there". It is the grace with which kindness is extended that makes it manifold and memorable. I will perhaps never need him again, but I did feel inspired to be like him in other people's lives if they need help, not for any reward, but only for the sake of helping .