A quiet evening Alone

Umar khayyam said, " a cup of wine, a loaf of bread, and Thou". Or something to this effect. To the civil servant careering after floods, disasters and diseases, or the mother chasing after kids ,a quiet evening alone is often a luxury. Tonight is such a luxurious one. However, the company of a loved one is not available today. Some people are afraid to be alone. I was a late child, my parents were too caught up in their mid life duties by then and my siblings were too old to give me commpany.So I developed the hobbies of a solitary child, reading, drawing, movies and music, and later painting and landscaping gardens,and ofcourse, cooking and experimenting with nearly all the major cuisines of the world. when I had a home of my own, I also indulged my love of the arts with a piano and interior decorating. Thus solitude has always been a welcome friend. I have always loved the feeling of touch, taste,smells and colours.I surround myself with them. Tonight it is too late to cook, so I settle for a leisurely bath with lavender incense. Its my favourite and infinitely relaxing. I even gift lavender products to my loved ones, so that i smell it on them when i snuggle up or hug them. My little Siamese, she is called margot by the way, follows me to every place in the house, trying to snuggle with me in the shape of a ball whenever I sit down. I bought flowers on my way home, and I listen to Chitra Singh as I arrange tuberoses , lillies, gladioli, and hothouse chrysanthemums in various vases around the house. Tonight i feel like doing more than read or watch tv..my cat walks on the piano and I think of playing it. Chopin? or no, lets try Mozart. One of my friends found a Mozart music book in London for me on a holiday, for which I am grateful. It is Requiem II. I play it slowly, looking for guidance at every note from the book. It is a melancholy number, which always reminds me of the highs and pitfalls of life. All art, Wilde said,is ultimately useless, but that is not true..it is art which enhances the ability of every individual to feel and empathise with others, to break the shell of our egos and make us think of things that are beyond our own selves..There is so much self righteousness in our society and growing every day it seems, these people think they have the answer to every ill, but their solutions are usually the "why dont they eat cake" ones espoused by Marie Antoinette, a few months before she was beheaded. These days people shun forms of art, many times confused if it is islamic enough or not. If it is not provocative, how can a thing of beauty be obscene or unislamic? With these thoughts i stop playing and and go up to settle into my red nest, where time stands still. If for the moment someone is away, the imagination fills the gaps with memories of togetherness, with a promise for tomorrow. Faith, and trust, keep my rambling heart firmly in someones coat pocket, which im sure is still smelling of my favourite perfume. I love this smell on my heart.