Relationships

The other day I came across a very interesting study on what are the factor that make a human being perceive that they are happy. Of course, what we perceive about ourselves and our lives is what makes it true for us, and one person's perception of what is great or not so great, might be different from another, but broad similarity in human behaviour can be there. The results od this study are surprising, and makes me think that human priorities have changed, but not as much has we perceived, especially what is shown in the media. This study says that out of the total number of people interviewed , only 44 percent of them said their faith and religious commitment brings them happiness. Not surprisingly, 85 percent said having enough money to make their life comfortable makes them happy,88 percent said enjoying social life or recreation makes them happy, and a surprising 89 percent said they feel happy if they are fulfilled in their studies or work. 91 percent attributed happiness to a good relationship with their friends, and 92 percent attributed it to a good relationship with their family. 94 percent, stated the obvious, that being contributes towards a feeling of happiness. 

The pleasant surprise for us is that people still rate happiness in their relationships much higher than money or work or even religious belief. In the age of mounting materialism and religious zealots, the need for connection, and a happy one, between human beings, remains one of the primary needs  for each of us. And what are relationships? only the sharing of feelings and experiences, and acceptance by one person of another as he or she is. We need the support of others to go on in this world, and the love and support of our friends and family mean so much that it can help us get out of any problem, any setback. Therefore, nobody should discount the effect he or she has on the people around them, and try to make those people around them happy and to help them. If human beings think of themselves as a bigger whole, each sustained by the other, we can try make  others happy, and become happier ourselves as a result. Of course it cannot match the glee you feel by vanquishing other, putting them down or feeling yourselves superior to them, but this is in the end, an empty feeling. It is fleeting success, which makes us get into an interminable race which does not have an end apart from death. So its better and more fulfilling to choose life over death, happiness and acceptance, co existence, over fighting and competition. You cannot take my fate from me and I cannot take yours from you, so it is better to support each other along our respective life paths.

Because Somebody Cared

There was a news story on tv the other day about a Pakistani girl who lost one leg as a child in the 2005 earthquake and was adopted and taken to the US by an American family. With their care and love she grew up into a confident, pretty, educated young lady, who is now an avid skier. I think her name is Insha. I was enthralled by her shining eyes, her excited and happy face as she said" I like speed". Like any girl her age , and even older( even I like speed and driving fast :)  ) she knows how to and is able to enjoy life and doesn't let her disability bog down her spirits nor her dreams. It was only possible, because somebody cared about her. 

In Inshas case, it was the Amercian couple who raised her and became her parents. But how many children and human beings, wilt, deteriorate and die, because even while living with bustling families, nobody cares about them, nobody thinks they are something special, nobody thinks it worth their while to spend some time with them. In a crowd they remain lonely, unappreciated, lacking in self confidence and any feeling of self worth. 

Human beings are fragile beings. born helpless and weak, they need support from the beginning. Physical touch of the mother, safety from elements, and friendship and love from fellow human beings to prosper and flourish in this world. it is paradoxical as we are also in constant competitions with each other and other living being, with survival of the fittest being the prerequisite of evolution. Over the eons and with civilization, which is basically another word for being considerate to each other, human beings have devised society, the welfare state, social safety nets and institutions to take care of the vulnerable, old and infirm. Despite these structures, the relationships between people, and belief in others is the crucial factor which is required to drive the individual towards success and self actualization.

The strongest of us, the richest, the most beautiful, and most powerful, need somebody to love us, believe in us, encourage us and think the world of us. It can be anybody in our life, but we need that. Not all the appreciation of strangers can mean as much as somebody from our life who stands by us. The most important ingredient is acceptance of what we are, and belief in what we can be. Belief in a person can make him or her achieve the impossible, do the unimaginable. It can make one reach heights to even surpass oneself, so important is the significance of another beings belief that one is all that, and perhaps more. Even in religion, faith is everything, believing in God and what he can do for us somehow makes it true and makes him a reality, perhaps its our own faith which makes it true. When we pray to God and see miracles happen, think of what miracles we can witness when we believe in ourselves and others.