The God Given Country

From the window of my office in the Pakistan Secretariat, a partial view is available. In the federal capital , the rumblings of national politics are palpable, but i am no VIP. I do not even like the lifestyle of a VIP. I am and like to be close to the ground, with my feet firmly planted on the ground. I dislike gunmen and protocol, one does not need to have an entourage to serve the country. But everywhere i see, I see perturbed faces, questions on the faces of the people in the Secretariat. They are thinking, what is going to happen? are we going to be able to come to work next week? Is the city safe anymore? 

The same questions are also on the minds of people of Islamabad. These are questions of personal safety, collective future, and political uncertainty. This is not the first challenge that this city has seen to its security. It has weathered many a storm. It has seen the Marriott bombing,the Laal Masjid debacle, the dharna of 2014, and many military takeovers. But the city, like the country, is resilient, and comes back again and again. However, the questions remain in the minds of all thinking people in the country. The limits of freedom are not breached yet, but  being able to get to work is my basic right, as well as freedom of movement, access to education, food and shelter. If anything curtails that, the State should act to protect me. However, the right to question its political leaders conduct is the right of every citizen of this country. We have salvaged democracy from the debris of toppling governments many a times. Democracy is valuable for us. Everybody is worried how we as a nation balance democratic rights of political parties as well as ordinary citizens. 

Peace is directly linked to prosperity , our country has seen much chaos, which has pushed it back by many years. Nobody wants that. Nobody should want that. In order to avert such happenings, politics should come to the fore. Politics is not only the art of the possible, but of myriad possibilities. Too rigid a stance from any side makes for a standoff, and the consequent damage to the nation. Hardline stances are good for political parties to rally forces together, but dialogue and a meaningful one at that, is the only way out to balance peace and stability in our country. It the responsibility of all sides to keep the dialogue going, and to resort to peaceful means to debate issues. It is the responsibility of the government most of all to keep the dialogue going. They have been elected to be responsible for the safety and stability of the country. It is a difficult balance that the government is treading. Lets hope for everybody's sake that they can make a go of it. Hopefully the God Given Country (Mumlikat e Khudadaad )will have divine help too, but sanity is required, first and foremost.

Role Reversal, ladies!

Last night I took a late flight from Islamabad to Lahore. Usually we see male pilots in the cockpit and air hostesses on the aisle. But last night I was pleasantly surprised to hear a female voice announcing from the cockpit that we are now landing and staff to take positions. The male flight attendants complied immediately. While this role reversal in the workplace is getting more and more common all over the world, it is still a bit uncomfortable in some parts of our society. Atleast in the urban areas, women in control are no longer a novelty. Although in the rural areas, women empowerment is still to be seen as an accepted reality, in urban areas, due to sheer financial compulsions, more and more girls are working and as a result, gaining independence and a stronger role in their families.

Whether financial independence necessarily translates into change in the societal roles for women, is still not a purity for independent, educated girls, or , for that matter, the uneducated but independent girls. Women in our society, whether independent or not, are still required to play the traditional roles that our society expects of them, and is used to. While the enforcement of these roles sometimes takes extreme forms like honor killing of a girl supporting her family, it usually takes milder forms like elders making sure that even if a female is working like a man in a man's world, she is supposed to take a supporting role in the house, that of the dutiful whatever she is in relation to her males, the companion, supporter, caregiver. Of course caregiving and nurturing, emotions, come naturally to a woman. But there are different qualities required to succeed professionally. As a working woman becomes more like men due to working in male dominated fields, she becomes less compatible in her roles at home as she brings these workplace qualities home to her personal relationships.

Naturally then, her relations with her family change. When we were growing up in the eighties and nineties, our female elders and some male relatives would call it that we have become outspoken, fast, headstrong and totally irreverent. This was only because girls who got educated and were given freedom gave voice to their opinion. This came as shock to elders and was disconcerting to say the least.

Some twenty years later, this is still the case. Men don't like to have independent ladies with minds of their own. Women are thought to be better if they are seen and not heard, they only applaud the thoughts of the men, and not at all is it ok if they disagree and worse, if they stick to their opinions. Unfortunately, men who are worth having usually are chauvinists, as naturally all confident meant think they are superior. So how do we manage? I guess reversing roles when we get out of houses, and then again when we get back in? This is a difficult balancing act. In the meanwhile, we keep on getting more and more space in the workplace. If more and more men get used to our changing roles, hopefully, we will have to do less role reversal at home and work.

Stumbling Blocks

In  life when we are all running towards our goals, individual and collective, we are in a lot of hurry to accomplish what we set out to do. For the sake of our goals we take chances, we make compromises, we take positions and of course we work hard . But some of us move faster than others, and the others get left behind. Why?

Of course this is nothing new in it, human beings have been grappling with external elements all the timeIn life when we are all running towards our goals, individual and collective, we are in a lot of hurry to accomplish what we set out to do. For the sake of our goals we take chances, we make compromises, we take positions and of course we work hard . But some of us move faster than others, and the others get left behind. Why? 

Of course fate and external circumstance play a great role in determining our trajectory in life, and for that we only have recourse to prayer and  a positive attitude towards life , a belief that good things will happen. But there are many internal reasons that determine how our life goes. For the sake of our own selves, it is important that we keep those factors in life under control that we CAN do something about.

One crucial but usually ignored factor in success is health. If we are in good health, and physically fit, our body can work more, take more stress and our mood remains ok, which keeps the temper down and allows us to make decisions without clouding our judgements. Regular healthy habits, avoidance of harmful substances and diet, all play their role in helping us live a better and more successful life for longer and absorbing the shocks and stresses that life is going to throw at us in any case. 

Another great factor is determination and self image. We all have a self image in our minds, who we want to be and who we are, and a faint map as to how to become who we want to become. It is our determination in life which makes us get there. Our self image can never match reality if we don't make efforts with determination to do so. Our will makes us change ourselves and our world to a large extent.

One factor is keeping your spirits and confidence level up. This is related to both your health and your experience in early life, but keeping a positive attitude and believing in yourself goes a long way  in keeping the verve alive in a person to work, make an effort, and to enjoy life. If you believe in yourself, only then do others believe in you.

Negativity and overt suspicion is a great stumbling block to progressing in life. Its not to say that these things don't exist, but one does well to ignore and work around these fears. They are only as real and matter only if you believe they exist.

Another hurdle is too much pride or insecurity, which leaves us unable to reach out to others and kills relationships. The inability to have successful relationships significantly reduces not only our ability to have a successful and happy life, but also affects our health as all the scientists say. Our own hangups should not stop us from giving and receiving happiness in life.

The biggest stumbling block is the inability to stand up for what is important to you, but also not being able to keep a balance between what you want and what others want. that balance is crucial for human beings, individually and collectively. 

We can't control our fate. But we can control our actions that many times determine fate. And of course, our faith can change fate.